Dartmouth OEstrus Vol.1 No. 2

THE

DARTMOUTH OESTRUS

“GAUDET TENTAMINE OESTRUS,” – Richards.

Vol. 1.      DARTMOUTH COLLEGE, (No. 8, Tontine,) July, 1854.      No. 2.

Terms – The OEstrus will continue issued by the “College Literary Association,” as often as the interests of the cause demands.  Our office has been removed at the earnest solicitation of the faculty, to the former establishment of the Dartmouth Advertiser and Temperance Advocate, with which I has been united.  On account of the enormous expense of the procuring suitable steel engravings, our terms will be raised to 8 cents per copy.  Our extensive circulation among all classes furnishes an invaluable medium for advertizing, at reasonable rates.  The Profs. will be allowed a discount of 3 percent.

ÞWe still retain the services of the inimitable “Fat Boy,” as our business Agent, who will be found awake from 6 to 7 1-2 A. M., and from supper till early twilight.  All other hours devoted to morpheus and the pipe.[1]

Our Portrait Gallery

In a few brief sketches, we purpose to treat of the life and character of some of those distinguished men “whom we delight to honor.”  We commence with the portrait of

DR. RICHARDS[2]

Our remarks upon the Rev. Dr. will entirely “a labor of love.”  In many respects his life and genius are richly deserving the attentive study of the lower Classes, whose minds are yet in a tender and chrysalis state.  He furnishes noble example of perseverance amidst the obstacles that would have appalled others.  If we trench slightly upon his private life, the Dr.’s extensive charity will pardon it.  We doubt not that he would willingly furnish us with many thrilling incidents of his youthful obliquities and College “scrapes,” if our modesty would allow us to request them.  For, in his genial hours, Ajax assures us, no one could be more jovial and humorous – puns, jokes and witticism pour forth in fearful disregard to his auditors cachinnatory powers.

In early life he was not regarded as precocious.  His intellectual vegetation did no blossom early.  His intellectual vegetation did not blossom early.  Indeed, his schoolmates thought him rather deficient in intellect.  One of them speaks of him as “in studio ultimus; in malo primus.”[3] His favorite amusement in schools was to braid thistles into the flowing ringlets of the rosy maiden who sat front of him; – and when she turned around indignant he would snatch a sly kiss.  Here was developed that large osculatory power that causes him even now, involuntarily, to smack his lips, when engaged in his sacred task, as a pleasing reminiscence floats up from the past.

In due course of time he entered Yale College.  Here he won no worthy fame.  Tradition says he was idle and dissolute. His youthful propensities here reached their maximum attainment.  His delight was to “break things.”  College windows and Freshmen’s heads alike evinced the “high” state of his spirit.  And sometimes, when unsuccessful at play, he

“Blasphemed his gods, the dice, and damned his fate.”

His highest ambition was, as he himself humorously relates, “to smoke two pipes at ones.”  But by and by “a change came o’er the spirit of his dreams.”  He forsook his terrene obliquities, and pious zeal took the place of morbid misanthropy.  His metamorphosis was more wonderful than any of Ovid’s.  But a world of obstacles present themselves.  His voice and manners were better adapted to the stage and convivial hilarity that to the pulpit.  But, adopting as his motto, “Gaudet tentamine virtus,” he, with heroic resolution, devoted himself to a thorough reformation of his moral and vocal habitudes.  With what success in the former, we cannot say, but of the latter we need refer only to the thrilling intontions of his present rich guttural.  It is not our purpose to trace his career, however fruitful in incident it may be, to the present time.  Whilom as an editorial brother he added new luster to the profession.  But as a pulpit orator he is still winning his brightest laurels.  More than once has he gained the proud appellation of d—-d.  And it is with the highest with the highest satisfaction that we present him to the lower classes as an exemplar to model after.  For nearly four years we have sat beneath the droppings of his sanctuary, and the prompting of a grateful heart bid us to join in the univocal chorus that goes up from the Seniors’ heart as they awake for the last time at his ‘amen.’  Whatever of virtue or sanctity we shall carry away from these classic halls is in a large measure due to his pious labors.  And, now, dear innocent, guileless Freshmen, and ye, wicked, not Lord-fearing Sops. (and Juniors, too, if not beyond the pale of hope) take the parting counsel of your older brothers and strive – to keep awake in meeting.

P.S.  We learn that the Rev. Dr. has made application for a Chaplaincy in the Navy.  There can be no question that he would be eminently successful in preaching to the “marines,” but will the moral interests of the lower classes and nuns permit of his absence.  We think not.  He must not go.  Let us then present to him some testimonial that will induce him to recall his request.  What shall it be?  We purpose a new wig of some fancy color. – Any who feel inclined to give for this object may hand their contributions to us directly, or to our agent, the “Fat-Boy,” with the most perfect confidence that they will be wisely appropriated.

 

 

No. 2  The Prof. of Greek Boots.[4]

“ Ingenuous grace

Beams from his eye, and flushes in his face.”

Our hero was born, in early life, very much in the manner that conventional usage requires for others.  Tho’ tradition affirms that the venerable daughters of Latona[5] who presided at his advent were sorely puzzled as to the historical propriety of their pithy announcement that a “man was born;” but subsequent developments relieved them from any questions of veracity.

It is foreign to our purpose to follow him from the cradle through the various and instructive scenes that finally launched him, strong and majestic, upon the rough tide o stern manhood: – to relate how the little urchin bore himself among his fellow-urchins; – “ how spontaneous mirth and instinctive grace, heaven-eyed genius and human-eyed gentleness” met and kissed each other in his sunny face. –

While yet the down incipient manhood clusters in feeble patches around his facial periphery, he fills and adorns the classic chair of Grecian Literature.  With what grace and dignity it is needless to remark.  For he has drank deeply at Helicon’s fount and roamed oft in Tempe’s classic vale.  Not only in the culture of his mind does he equal, if not surpass, the Ancients, but also in physical prowess.  His celerity of foot would have rendered useless the stratagem of Hippomenes in the race with Atalanta.[6] Indeed, ‘tis said that when students were wont to indulge in the unclassic luxury of the old Saxon horn, our youthful Prof. would leave his nocturnal slumbers – impelled, doubtless, by the sympathetic promptings of his musical soul – and pursue, with the fleetness of the wind, the alluring strains, that like ignes fatui,[7] often led him through brush and briar, till at last he found himself in the dubious plight of

“  The idiot

Gazing upon the brook,

Who leaped at the stars

And fastened in the mud.”[8]

His guileless heart imagines no deceit ; hence he often becomes the innocent dupe to the wiles of the evil-disposed, especially of his elder associates.  We would, in a kind and paternal spirit, from our superior point of observation, counsel him to beware of the machinations of the evil-minded.  And we would solemnly bid his brother Profs. Take heed how they impose upon his simple nature.  They may laugh in their sleeves to see the innocent youth honestly striving to execute their farcial decrees, which they intend only as convenient reference to promote private interest or revenge petty animosities, but let them look at the sting of the OEstrus and be wise in time.  But as the object enlarges upon our hands we leave it for a subsequent issue.  The only favor we solicit of our loved and lovely friend, is, that we may be allowed to stand as god-father to one of his numerous prospective offspring, and leave it to our cognomen.

A Connubial Colloquy

Mother Hubbard awaking in the night and finding her husband absent, umps up and looks for him – when meeting him in the entry, in a robe de nuit, the following Caudle scene occurs : –

Mrs. H. loquitur. – “There now, Mr. Hubbard, here you are again coming out of ——-‘s room!  You needn’t deny it!  Don’t tell me about walking in your sleep! – chemical experiments – minerals – nuns all asleep – I know better.  You’ve been and put on —–‘s nightgown instead of your own shirt!  You needn’t cry, I shall box your ears and shut you up.” – Introeunt ambo.

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The above engraving is a correct illustration of the most interesting and respectable specimen of College humanity, a “canis facultatis.”[9] He is now about returning to his kennel, fatigued after a weary watch through the live-long night, without so much a single prize for his exacting masters, or discovering one available track for them to pursue; each erring Fresh and reckless Soph has safely eluded his Argus[10] eye.  And now as he retires discouraged, to pass impatiently a spleepy day, he vainly hopes for a coming night of rest, but disappointment is again to be his lot; he is roused from his early slumbers by the crash of shattered windows; a fragrant odor meets his distended nostrils, but alas! it is not a sweet smelling saver, at least of furniture.  Young men, pity the lot of the Faculty’s dog, for pure as are his motives, and Christian-like his conduct, he is subjected to perpetual annoyance and contempt.[11]

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Þ Owing to the negligence upon the part of the students, in performing Biblical exercise on Monday morning, the Faculty have lately ordered that every student shall provide for himself a Greek Testament, and shall also place therein, at each exercise, a leaf from an English Testament containing the passage to be considered.

THE DARTMOUTH OESTRUS

Dartmouth College, July, 1854.

Do yourself no harm, gentlemen.” – PREX.

Strong emotions, whether of the head or the heart, will find expression.  If the moral and intellectual life of the College is active and progressive it must flow forth in channels of genial and beneficent vitality.  But if its pools are not stirred often by descending angel they become stagnant, and it merely vegetables, not lives.

Such, mainly, was the motive that generated the OEstrus.  While yet hardly emancipated from its swaddling-cloths, it boldly buckled on the panoply of truth, and went forth upon its mission of love and mercy to the corrupt and deluded in our little cycle of cloister life.  Its former errand was in part to arouse and reclaim those erring and obstinate Profs. who were rushing to their own ruin ; as well as a timely warning to some of their lesser satellites; – it buzzed more in sorrow than in anger, and when it stung, the sympathies of its gentle heart, like a healing balm, flowed around the wound.  The dark and portentous cloud that then hung over our College liberties and ancient priveleges, nerved it with life as it was fluttering upon the confines of existence.  Like Noah’s dove, it sought, if perchance there might be found some dry spots in the floods of moral desolation.

Tempora mutant.  The Faculty manifested a new spirit in their actions.  Their haughty and arrogant demeanor gave place to one gentle and docile.  Indication of a manliness and conscience appeared that were startling even startling even to them.  They abolished the use of the lot – that relic of the Inquisition in selecting the objects of discipline, or of petty revenge, and dismissed their spies.

Aud now the OEstrus comes as an angle of love, to encourage and cheer – to take gently by the hand those weak-minded, but well meaning members of the Faculty, who would like to do well if they only knew how.  It will be a “ pillar of fire” to guide the honest and virtuous, but an adder in the bosom of moral obliquity.

Who will question its utility? Is not the Sophs gibbet essential to the physical development of students?  No less so is the OEstrus to sustain a healthy moral action in its sphere.  And we are happy to announce to our friends that it has been established on firm basis.  It has grown from a weak and timid bantling to its present luxurious size, and further improvements will still be made.  It has secured the services of a literary corps unequalled by any of its contemporaries ; – embracing all the talent of the College, from the humble Prof. up to distinguished Dr. Bumper and Tinder.  And at immense expense it has secured the first artistic skill of the land.  An engraving of at least one of our local literati will adorn each number.  It is found very difficult to get a pleasing expression from the Profs. – for it taken in recitation the features are unnatural and distorted. But true to our motto we shall yet triumph.

Here is seen a poor Freshman on his way to morning prayers.  On the previous night he has suffered himself, for the first time, to be led astray, by some dissolute Soph or Junior, so far as to indulge pretty freely in peanuts and beer.  As a natural consequence, his slumbers are undisturbed by the first tones of the bell that warns him of his matin orisons.  He is dreaming, perchance.  Wan and spectral-hued visions of broken resolutions flit across his mental horizons, as he reverts to the rural scenes he has so recently left.  He is again in the presence of the village parsob pledging his “ sacred word and honor to abstain – from all that intoxicate,” and to avoid all vicious associates.  He sees his bright, green-eyed maiden, with her golden, carroty ringlets, as he the last time beheld her milking old Brindle.  But, anon, the deep tones of the bell, like a funeral knell, strike upon his affrightened ears.  He starts, like Dudu when stung by the bee, and in his tremulous haste, slips into the wrong coat – that spacious, hereditary one, which he intends to fill in his Senior year – and rushes out with his bonnet de nuit on and his locks all unkempt.

Our artist has sketched him as he has just come in sight, as the last echo has died away, and the last Senior has hurried in.  The Profs. are wending in their way to their morning recitations.

Picture his feelings !  If he goes on he must encounter the yet dreaded eye of the “Lord.”  He cannot evade the event, for he knows nothing of the Pickwickian art called “sharp practice.”  In his desperation he rushes on.  His expressive features vividly portray the mingled emotions of terror and remorse that are warring beneath his paternal coat.

Dr. Watts.

FRESHMAN MELODY.

“ Happy the Fresh. that doth refuse

With impious Juniors to combine ;

Whe ne’er their wicked way pursues,

And does the pious Sophs decline.

But learns from Seniors to obey,

The law of the ‘ Lord’ his delight,

In that employs himself all day,

And thinks and dreams thereon all night.”

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Why Paenes[12] Should Come to Dartmouth

Being aware of the vast influence of the opinion of the OEstrus over the public minds, the faculty have hired us to recommend Dartmouth to those youug men of our land, who purpose entering college the coming autumn.  This we can conscientiously do, after having made so frank a declaration of the motives from which we thus act.

In the first place, being situated so far from any large city, those influences which so vitiate the pure morals, and unsullied virtue of the inexperienced freshmen, are less felt and, though the high standard of morals which the freshmen raises, must at some time in the four years course come down.  That period so deprecated by himself and his doting parents, is longer delayed here than at other college, it having been generally noticed that they do not, unless it be towards the close of the summer term, indulge in rowdyism father than eating peanuts, except some who were immoral when they come, who occasionally drink beer and ale.

Again as was reported in the last OEstrus, social initiations were last year annulled by a decree of the faculty, by which one of the most fearful ordeals through which the freshmen passed, is removed, though it is suspected that the effect of the decree was intended for only that particular year and class.  It is also thought that the faculty will soon forbid the smashing of the windows of the freshmen soon, and gradually cause the other annoyances to which the class is subjected to cease.

To show the general high standard of morality here, we would say that monitors rarely have their windows bottled, and the profs. perhaps still less frequently.  On account of the vigilance and severity of the faculty of that point, the students are not a great deal addicted to intercourse  with prostitutes and drunkenness is not very common.  It is rare that more then four or five get sent away from a class during their whole course, although from extraordinary perverseness of the present junior Class, they have from various causes lost some twenty of their members.

Many of the Seniors have lately confessed to the college in their last stage pieces, all the evils and misdemeanors, which they have committed while here, which were by no means very numerous, considering their character.

The scientific and literary advantages present inducement of equal forces.  The professors many of them, took a high stand in the classes to which they belonged while students in college, and they now occasionally urge upon the students the values of studious habits.  Particular attention is given to Mathematics ; and among other opportunities for acquiring Astronomical knowledge, there has been an observatory in process of erection for more than a year, and likely so to continue for many years to come.  When finished it is to to be reckoned among the college buildings.

Other advantages might be dwelt upon would our space permit.

_______________________________

Riding the PHI BETAS

The Equestrian art, in its highest perfection, is not easily acquired.  But the grace and ease with which our friend rides, plainly shows that he is an adept in the use of ponies.

He is here seen, after the sweat and exhaustion of a “ four years heat,” just about to enter the classic shades of the Phi Betas.  The complacent expression of his countenance will be noticed, as he sees the promised goal just before him.  Sic itur ad astra.[13]

P.S.  To prevent any mistake we would say that our engraving is not intended to represent any of those puerile ‘swells’ who perambulate our streets at evening twilight, though it strongly resembles them.

_____________________

It was currently reported that some of the Profs. were about during the spring vacation on a d——k.

It is as unprovoked libel.  We have their affidavits to this effect, which can be seen at our office by the incredulous.

They were simply absent on a pleasure excursion ; Prof. P. was in ill-health, having devoted himself too closely to family duties.  He is now doing well, his whiskers are vegetating and reder, his chin quite pubescent, and his hair evinces the care of Sarah’s soft hands.[14]

He has been in good humor all this term – bless her who keeps him so.  We mention “O Hais” in particular, on the account of the temptation for one so young to go astray when absent from the restraining influences of college and home.  Prof. N. has been very attentive to his public and private duties thus far, and given universal satisfaction as far as we learn.  Our esteemed and venerable President tries to do his duty, and all the faculty deserve our approval in their endeavor to do theirs.

Although a Censor of public and private morals, we are inclined to be lenient, and where our power is felt, there to extend our mercy.  Mrs. Prof. W. must be in delicate health, we have not seen her for a long while.

He and she are very lomg.

We’ll wait a little long-er.

It has long been a matter of regret to us that classes ,who have heretofore been subject, to those consummate bores, termed “Faculty Soiris,” and who after great trials and tribulations have safely passed through their shoa’s and quicksands, have left behind no enduring monument of their sufferings, no directions by which the future wanderer can profit.  Could we but have had the light which a painful experience has shed around past graduating classes, ours would  never suffered the agony which this term has caused it.

We have suffered  at four of these reviews, and with the assistance of our artist, trust that we can give such information respecting their design, and the rules to be observed in attending them, as shall prove of lasting benefit to those who will have to tread the thorny path after us.

The object of these assemblies no doubt is discipline.  It is fairly concluded that whoever goes through then without flinching, show great strength of body and wind.  Such being the case it is important that the candidate, if he desires success, should practice walking, and standing for several hours with his heels close to the wall.  It would be well to examine the various forms into which such assertions as the following can be thrown

‘This has been a delightful day” – “What a splendid evening it is” – “I think Hanover is a beautiful place” – “What extremely hot weather we have had” – as you will be required to repeat these solemn truths at least four hundred times during the evening.  If it would be possible to commit to memory a few verses of Pope’s Rape of the Lock, or Byron’s Don Juan, you might consider yourself doubly armed.  For convenient reference we have condenced into a brief space some rules which will aid the greenhorn.

  1. Never go to a Faculty Soire.
  2. If you go, make up your mind to submit manfully to the tortures you must undergo.
  3. Borrow a pair of white kids.
  4. Wash your face and hands.
  5. Think over the remarkable occurrences of the term-especially the state of the weather.
  6. Practice putting on a winning smile.
  7. Try to realize the importance of a Senior.
  8. Bow gracefully to imaginary women hung up in your room.
  9. Submit to the sacrifice.
  10. Back into the nearest corner, and place a chair before you for defence.
  11. Never speak unless you are spoken to ; and whatever the question may be, open with a remark on the weather.  Keep near the wall, and suffer no one to surprise you in the rear.  Imagine the beings passing before you to be women.
  12. If your courage begins to fail you, take out a clove, and offer another to the lady nearest to you.
  13. Above all suffer no one to entice you from the advantage of your position.
  14. When it is desired that your martyrdom is sufficient, submit to led away by the women assigned to you.

When you have returned, an invigorating cordial, with a rum sweat, may possibly revive the victim.

The first rule is the most important, and comprises incidentally  more of wisdom than all the remaining ones.  But if some must suffer, the remaining rules will be found to include all that human prudence can do in the matter.

ORDER OF EXERCISES

F O R

SOPHOMORE SUPPER,

TO BE DEVOURED

FRIDAY NIGHT, JULY 21, 1854.

At precisely 7 o’clock P. M. at the blowing of the horn in the recitation room, 28 Sophomores, whose names are secured for the occasion, will assemble at No 10, (rear of College building,) and in accordance with a vote of the Committee of arrangements. Will form in squad of four in the alcove of that building, under the immediate superintendence of Chief Marshall Higgins, whose inimitable legs and swagger will honor the occasion.

At 15 minutes past 7 the procession will form in the following

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ORDER:


HIGGINS, Chief Marhs’l[15]

(The Chief Marshall requests the police to remove all obstructions from the street while he passes along.)

2. Horn Blowers.[16]

3. LORD – President[17]

of the evening, borne in champaigne basket on a wheel-barrow.  He will bow and smile to the multitudes as the procession passes.

4. Collamore, Machine[18]

POET, astride Wood’s neck, oiling his Mill.

5. Leonard, Orator.[19]

6.  Jossyln, Master of[20]

TOASTS, repeating the first sentiment for the evening.  “ The Sophomore Class:  How gloriously they stood – back, when the Freshmen resisted ;”  discretion is the better part of valor.

7.  Committee of ar-

rangements on horseback.

8. Samuel – Assistant Marshall.[21]

10. The trained band

of the class, composed of village boys under the age of 8 years, with blue ribbons on their hats ; escorted by Thompson.[22]

At 25 minutes past 7 the procession will move – passing through the College yard, and all the principal streets, stopping a few moments before the nunnery, where Higgins, in behalf of the class, will bow to the nunnery walls ; and finally drawing up in single file before the Cake and Beer Saloon of Sopha Jones, where a sumptuous repast will be provided.

Order at the Table


 

 

  1. Chaplain Putney, asking Grace.[23]
  2. Cold Water,

(Liquor will be provided in the anteroom for the Officers.)

  1. Seed Cakes.
  2. Ginger Beer
  3. Cakes without Seed.
  4. Cold Water.
  5. Beer.

If the President’s condition shall permit it, he will enliven the carousal with a few silly remarks.

8. Collamore grinding out his Poem.

10.  A. collection will be taken to foot the bills.

At ten minutes past one, those who are able to stand will form in a hollow square, aud endeavor to reach the bank of the river, where the last rites will be paid to the memory of Mathew Maticks, Esquire, deceased, with whom it was the lot of few to have  personal acquaintance.

Per Order,

E. EBENEZER HIGGINS,

Chief Marshall.

A specimen of College Eloquence

By request we give a few extracts from an oration delivered before a College Society at the last initiation of the Freshmen, Moses D. Brown,[24] the founder of the Society.  This style is eminently figurative, often so far “overtopping the dark cloudy regions of common thought, ascending into the imperial, the eternal, the immensely infinite,” as to preclude all ordinary, finite eulogy.  Hence our quotations will be illustrative of the thought rather than the style.  Speaking of his Society, he says: –

“Emerging as we do, from an age of darkness and fallacy, into one of light and truth ; illuminated by the bright effulgence of an eternal Sun ; divested of the sable garments of the grossest superstition and absurdities inherent to us ; we might expect that the vice-gerent of the Lord had been sent among us to dispel the clouds that have long hovered over us, to illuminate our poor souls with eternal essence and to give us a safe passport when we shall go out from these militant scenes.

But, we would first enquire what has conduced to the present state of things in our Society?  What has raised it from its barbarous and savage state to that of intelligence and wisdom?  What has protected its soul from becoming the fatal dupe of its enemies, subdued its evil passions, and sublimated its immoral essence?  What plays with such joy, gentle complacency around the soul of the initiated saint, and imbues it with a consciousness of immortality?  Why is genius a fountain, while talent is a cistern?  We answer, in the name of everlasting God, ‘CHRISTIANITY.’

But recurring to his Society he says:  “Though but an off shoot, in its primitive state from the great and original Fount, it has covered the College with its genial rays, beneath whose verdant foliage many a benighted Freshman finds the haven of eternal rest.”

Employing the beautiful figure of a youth he proceeds:  “Its characteristic feature is reformatory and improving.  The phophetic of an all-searching Intelligence beheld, with complacent heart, its embryo state.  He beheld the gloomy mantle which enshrouded its tender youth.  He heard it weeping ; but He rocked its cradle, and the spirit of repose soon closed its tearful eye.

The reminder of the discourse soars so far into transcendent realms of inconceivableness, where the eternal mind had never supposed he could transmit one single ray of light as to render it no use for human conception.  But it will doubtless secure for Mr. Brown, an niche in the Temple of Fame.  On the wings of his “gaudy owl” he may soar to an eternal ‘immortality,’ for some time to come.

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One more confession.

Faculty, being about to leave you, I feel that I should lift up my voice and utter a few words to you of parting advice and acknowledge to many favors received at your hands.  I return to you, Profs., my most heart-felt thanks for that lookout you have ever had over my conduct and actions since the St., Johnsbury scrape, that celebration of asses, attended by the Corni—cines of your cherished Institution ; yes ever since that time have I received on the most intimate terms into your society ; with such distinction have I been marked, that without being a member of Church, frequent invitations have been extended to me to commune with you, but, as I suppose, not being a member of regular standing Church, I was requested to commune at the Prex’ Study, there have I spent some of my most exciting hours first writhing under that most sarcastic wit of the Philosopher, then the victim of a fierce repartee from Prof. Bully anon figued by the effeminate stroke of the modest Prof. then entangled in the mudy doubts of a question’ by Prof. Peanuts, finally palsied by an oratorical display by ‘The Next,’ and having long sat on the ‘point in space,’ and having ‘passed through the initiatory rites, and received the true bread and wine at His Excellency’s hands, to the effect that for uncommon attention to duties, perfect willingness to partake of the bread and wine for dis, (dis you know means twice) orderly habits, having got ahead of my clem. being a part student, I might, for the term of six months, spend my time at a particular friend of the Faculty of mine, the Rev Mr. -.

I of course thanked the Prex. for his courtesy and high opinion of my talents.

Before I close, I desire to speak of one thing more.

Long, faithfully have I attended prayers, morning and evening, and much has it grieved me to see that so few of you, the Faculty, constant attendants of so beneficial an exercise, an exercise, which if good for us, is good for you, for “what is sauce for goose is sauce for gender ;” and one which ought not to be so slighted by you, especially cold wet mornings.  It almost chills my heart’s blood to go to prayers some cold morning and see none but the Prex obeying the call of his God, or perchance the Prex is ill and Peanuts must obey the call, while Bully thinks, “well I’ll take another nap while Prof. P. is running through never-ending prayers ; I have often told him that short prayers would cure the consumptive tendencies of the Students.”

O ! Degeneracy, Degeneracy, thou scourge of mankind!  how long ere thou wilt loose thy power over mortal man?

Rusticatus.

Mrs. Hubbard’s Family School FOR YOUNG LADIES.[25]

Parents desiring  for their daughters the advantages of a serious education, are informed that there are now two or three vacancies in this well-known establishment.  The beauty of its situation is too well known t need description ; the southern view from the attic windows being however, especially delightful.  The pupils are allowed to take daily exercise in the streets accompanied by a guard of teachers, and at hours when the students are at recitation.  In order to preserve the young ladies from contamination, no intercourse with the world without will be allowed, but that they may be well informed as to all necessary intelligence, the DARTMOUTH OESTRUS will be regularly taken.  No pupil can be permitted to receive a visit from any gentleman who is not within the Levitical degrees of relationship. – Parents are informed the story of students having at times gained access to this institution, disguised in female apparel is a fabrication, as there is always a preliminary examination before entering.

Lectures will be delivered the present term as follows : -By Rev. Levi Little,[26] on Natural and Revealed Religion ; by Prof. R. Samuel,[27] on Parental Duties in Prospective ; by Dr. Addison Bridgeman,[28] on Female Anatomy and Pathology – Towards the close of the term a lecture on Woman’s Rights may be expected, from our gifted country-woman, Miss J. T.  Adams.

TERMS.

Board and Tuition per annum,                       $200.00

Baths, plain, per term,                                         2.00

Medicated Sulpher, do.                                       5.00

Parental advice and affection of Prof.

And Mrs. Hubbard, per term,                     2.37-1-2

Plain washing, 25 cents per doz.,

Lace trimed drawers and chemises

50 cents per doz.

REQUIRED TEXT BOOKS

French – CEUVRES de Paul de Kock,   CEUVRES de

Rabelais

Latin – Ovids Ars Amoris, Petronius Arbiter –

Mathematics ; Peter Parleys Arithmetic, –

Curves and Functions – Religious Instruction ;

New England Primer – Physiology; Miss Frances Hill’s

Treatise- For reference in the study of English Literature,[29]

the poems of Cenas and Cruikshanks and the orations

M.D. Brown, are recommended.

FAITH & O. P. HUBBARD.

REFERENCE – Prof. Peanuts, Prof. Thinder Pickwick, Prof. Bumper, Rev. E. P. Scales, Rev. G, M. Chamberlain, D. D., and the Editor of the OESTRUS.

eowitt.

July 1st., 1854.

Poetry

To Miss S…………

______

Hard fortune keeps me far away,

The reason, love, you know ;

I fain would be with you, and stay

Till morning’s golden glow.

The hours flew swiftly, which I spent

So closely, love, with you,

Till ruffians hands with ill intent

Conspired to “ put me through.”

Your virtue and your innocence

Have lost my Guardian care,

I cannot live in such suspense,

My love, I’ll soon be there.

Fair maidens have eyes of fire,

Like midnight stars they shine ;

Their souls are filled with warm desire,

Their virtue, love, like thine.

I live in their seducing charmes,

My every want they satisfy ;

I like a change – and to thy arms,

And bosom soft I’ll fly.

A. D. B.

The Soph’s Feat.

——

Not a sound was heard, but the sighing breeze,

Not the tread of man or women,

As the sophomores climed the maple trees

That skirt the college common.

‘Twas then and there at dead of night

As the stars were dimly shining,

That the heroes climbed the dizzy hight,

For the purpose of tying a rope from one

Tree to another across the street and hang the effigy

of a Freshman ; and hang me if I didn’t forget I

was grinding poetry.

Lowly they raised their spectre wan,

As high as a second story,

They tightened the line, put blue ribbons on,

And left him alone in his glory.

Just as their pleasant task was done,

They left with intent of retiring.

They were full of liquor and full of fun,

(as drunk as the devil, every one,)

And didn’t care “a damned” whether

School kept the next day or not.

Few were the words, that at parting they said

They gave no expression of sorrow,

But each threw a “rock” at the Freshman’s head.

And laughed at the thought of the morrow.

They thought as they tumbled into bed,

With their feet toward the place for the pillow,

How the freshmen would shudder with palsying

dread,

To think that such might be their fate if they

were not more humble and reverent towards their

seniors.

They slept all night, as well they might,

Till the bell tolled sad in the morning,

They gazed at the sight, with palor and fright

To think that when light, they had reached

such a height.

And the freshmen were warned to take warnings, which they have evidently done, and since that sad occasion been better boys.

—————–

I’m looking over the old rubbish, the other day, in search of something to sell to a Freshmen, who think of fitting up a room a la mode, we chanced to find an old machine, with which we formerly ground out Poetry, throwing into the hopper a few fragments from a stray author, the following effusion was brought forth.

In days of old, as I am told,

Twas custom here in College,

For Seniors bold, all rich and gold,

To have their Freshmen liege.

Twas then, they say, in that old day,

That Freshies, they did run,

With hat in hand at such command,

That was by Senior spun.

Again tis said, if right Ive read,

Their boots were polished o’er,

By Freshies true, who little knew,

That Seniors were a bore.

And now Oh !  h—l, what a d—d swell

Would some o’ the Seniors make,

If Freshies did, at not or bid,

Their nasty errands take.

But no, not so, poor Freshies know

Tis flase, that Senior air ;

And the pride puffed and vanity stuffed,

Presume to say don’t swear.

————————*————————–

Though the kindness of Mrs. Prof. Hubbard, we have been furnished with the following letter from her husband for publication.  The readers of the OEstrus will rejoice with us to hear so authentic an account of the researches of Prof. Hubbard in the western country.

Racine, Wis., June 17th, 1854.

MY DEAR CONSORT :

I arrived at this place on Saturday last, and hasten to give you and our dear children, both natural and adopted, an account of my situation and prospects.  I expected, my dear faith, when you hugged me as I left our sweet home, to have again embraced you long before this time ; but I am certain when you hear what I have been doing, all will meet with your approbation.    According to your directions, in voyaging to this place, I took especial care of morals, for, as you expressed it, love, these steamboats, cars and city hotels are places where virtue often wanders astray.  Our incident will satisfy you of this care.  The day I reached New York, I set out after a cheap boarding-house (as I intended to remain in the city one day) where the luxury and pay of hotels were discarded.  Not being aquainted with the lay of the land in the city, I accosted a well-dressed fashionable lady in the street, and requested her to direct me to some boarding-house. She politely informed me that her destination would lead her to pass one ; and she would undertake to point it out to me.  As we passed along, I was very much entertained by her agreeable and fasinating manners, inasmuch that I inwardly resolved that no other woman but you, my dear Faith, could compare with her, I was agreeably surprised to hear the music of the violin issuing from the door of the building, which she informed me, in notes vied sweetness with notes of the fiddle, was just such a boarding-house I was in search for.  I descended the steps (for the entrance was below the level of the street) and entered.  I was about to inquire the price of lodging, when a sight presented itself which will never be affected from my memory.  I immediately left, fully satisfied that boarding houses in New York could not be relied upon.  Had it not been for your kind words of advice, dear partner of my bosom, I should not have detected the imposition attempted to be played off upon me ; and who knows what might have been the consequence.  As I was moving through the streets at a late hour, the evening of this incident, pondering over the extravagant prices charged by hotels, a gentleman, with the words “Police” on his hat, politely invited me to take lodging in one of the city buildings, which invitation I graciously accepted.  What was my surprise early next morning, when I was hand-cuffed and led before a large man, seated on a bench ; and fined three dollars and the cost of the court for being vagrant.  I could have borne the rest, but the look which the yellow god gave me as I paid the fine, brought tears to my eyes.

Determined to leave the scenes of so many disasters, I entered my name for a passage in the first freight train to Buffalo, where I arrived late the next night.  As I passed along the lakes, I was gratified with a view of immense rocks rising near the shore.  What a country for the chemist and the mineralogist.  Here are hundreds of tuns of minerals every ounce of which is worth a cent a pound.  Here under beds of coal are millions of gallons of carbonated hydrogen, which would be worth thousands of dollars to me, if I possessed it.  I forgot to mention that I made twenty five cents by informing an old lady of the chemical analysis of soap.  I counted over my money last night, and found that I had spent ten dollars, forty-one cents and five mills, the items I will keep a correct account of.  I shall probably spend another week at this place, since I have made the acquaintance of a generous friend who entertains me gratuitously with bad and board.

I received your letter, directed to Detroit, and was pleased to hear of the favorable condition of the Nuns.  I trust that in providing eatables for them, you will bear in mind the high price of provisions.  It would be well to instill into the minds of our flock, in morning devotion, the necessity abstinence ; and the unfashionable tendency of glutting.  We did very well last term, when we come to consider the extras we put into the bills.  The idea occurred to me, after I returned last night, that there was another chance to get an extra upon the bill hereafter.  Why not charge 50 cents for monitor’s duty in watching the Nuns in church, alies guarding their virtue.

Dear Faith, I was thinking last night of the day we received your father’s consent to be united in the holy bands of wedlock.

I shall never forget his answer to my proposal for your hand.  “Oliver, my boy, has Faith returned your advances?”  I answered in the affirmative.  “Well, Hubbard, I pity my daughter.  I had hoped to see her decently married ; but by her decision my fondest hopes are blasted.  She has carried her pigs to a poor market.  She wishes to be yours – and I shall never interfere with the wishes of my children in matrimonial affairs.  Take her, Faith is yours ; and it your faith in her corresponds to her size, surely it is faith like a grain of mustard seed.

This was many years since.  We now have two lovely pledges of our affection ; and a third whose body and mind are personifications of yourself.  Kiss Grover and the twins for me – tell them to be good children, and perhaps I will bring them home a stick of candy.  Tell Blanche and Nelly and Eugenia to be good girls and learn their lesson, and I will kiss them (with your permission) when I return.

Farewell me dear Faith,

Your loving husband,

OLIVER

P. S.  Potatoes are cheep in this section.  There will be no need of purchasing any till I return, as I shall bring home a few in my trunk.

Yours, O.

For the benefit of those Freshmen who have never been before the faculty, and expect when called up, to get clear by fibbing, we would simply state, that the Prex. has a squeaking chair in which is seated every one, against who there is but little direct proof; if then the chair by its creaking betrays uneasiness and anxiety in the mind of the culprit, it is taken as positive proof of his guilt, and he is accordingly expelled.

We gladly call the attention of our readers to the following notice, wishing they may profit thereby, coming from the high source it does.

NOTICE !

The subscriber respectfully announces to the students of Dart. Col. and other Colleges, that Owls, College Malls, OEstruses, Blanks of Diplomas for premature graduates and in fine all nice job work, that can with difficulty be done elsewhere can be published upon the most reasonable terms and with the profoundest secrecy, at the Old Grimes Press, No. 10, up stairs.[30]

Neo-Hantonesi.

PROF. BULLY.

$00.25 Reward ![31]

On Monday night last, between the hours of ten and twelve of the clock, some malicious person or persons, to the subscriber unknown, being instigated by the devil, entered the premises of the Nunnery, situated on the corners of Julia and Woodward Sts., and did then and there, with malice prepense, feloniously steal and take away the following articles, being the lawful property of sundry young Ladies inhabiting said premises.

The subscriber, being the Instructor and guardian of said Ladies, and having felt their loss, offers in their behalf the above reward for the discovery and conviction of said persons, or one half the same for the return of said property.

20 Chemises, of the most approved style and in all respects good and convenient.

14 Pairs flesh-colored Drawers, worked in crochet around the ankles and waist, with silver clasps attached.

24 pairs silk and cotton hose, of various lengths, colors and sizes, some of them coming very high ; 4 of said pairs may be recognized by apertures in the heels, and the same number by like punctures in the toes.

12 Night-Caps, trimmed with lace Edging, small and of fine materials.

16 Robes of Cambric, full and flowing, a la Dudu ; as becoming as any of the subscriber has ever seen.  They were low in the neck and laced in the front.

The owners are subjected to great inconvenience at the aforesaid loss, and wish to express their surprise that rude hands should be laid upon their wardrobe, without their consent or knowledge.

Tuesday, June 25,               Signed

O. P. H.

_______

One young lady was overheard to make the following lament :

They’ve stole, they’ve stole me cloths away !

Why did I such temptations lay

In many a wicked student’s way ;

They give us peace nor night nor day ;

They’ve stole, the’ve stole my hose away.

They’ve stole, they’ve stole my clothes away !

If wicked student, you will come,

And bring my stolen garments home,

I’ll give you access to my room –

They’ve stole my drawers and hose away !

Who stole, who stole my cloths away ?

I’ll dry the tears my cheeks that burn,

And longing wait a kind return ;

Sophomores are gallent, Juniors brave,

My garments marked – long may they wave ;

Why stole, who stole my cloths away ?

*     *

_______

Þ We are pleased to see a proper degree of indignation among the Sophs at the wanton insult to the Class, perpetrated upon the persons of their distinguished President and Chief Marshall, at a recent ball at Lebanon, where they were rudely ejected from the Hall.  If, on the account of a slight infirmity of ‘spirit,’ gentlemen are to receive such indignities, who of the Class is safe?  We cannot believe they were drunk.

____________

TIN HORNS.

A. Wainwright keeps constantly on hand, a splendid assortment of tin horns, which he will dispose of cheap for cash.

TIN HORNS.

The subscriber has on hand a large number of second hand tin horns, which he will sell at fair discount, call and examine.[32]

PROF. E. D. Bully

Our Express pursued BY THE FACULTY’s Dog.


[1]An allusion to opium smoked by a student.

[2] Dr. John Richards  (Honorary DD, Dartmouth College), AB Yale 1821, Theological Seminary 1824. He was born in Farmington, Conn., 1797, and served as the minister of Dartmouth College Church from 1841 until his death in 1859. Richards was in many ways the embodiment of the mischievous-youth-turn-a-Born-Again-Evangelical-Christian phenomenon of the 1830s, which was characteristic of many colleges throughout New England (perhaps most notably Amherst). The authors of the OEstrus seemed to resent him (at least partly) for this reason.

[3] Latin: “best in studies, first in evil.”

[4] This piece probably refers to John Newton Putnam (see OEstrus No. 1).

[5] In Greek mythology, Zeus’ wife, Leto.

[6] In Greek mythology, Atalanta was a beautiful women who would not marry any of her suitors. She challenged them to a race and won every time. Hippomenes, with the help of Aphrodite, left three golden apples in Atalanta’s trail. She stopped to pick them, and he won the race and married her. After they fornicated in his temple, Zeus turned Atalanta and Hippomenes to lions.

[7] Will-o’-the-wisp, misleading lights created by the miasma of the swamps that attracted people into the depths of the swamp; an illusion.

[8] A paraphrase on an excerpt from Edward Young’s Night Thoughts: “Then, like an idiot gazing at the brook, We leap at the stars, and fasten in the mud; At glory grasp, and sink in infamy.”

[9] Pun on Canis familiaries, the Latin name for dog, probably aimed at Prof. Putnam.

[10] In Greek mythology, Argus was a creature with one hundred eyes.

[11] Again, this piece probably refers to Prof. Putnam.

[12] Meaning “nearly” or “almost,” pertaining to perspective students.

[13] From Virgil: “thus you shall go to the stars.”

[14] “Prof. P.” is Professor Putnam, who married Sarah Gilman, daughter of William Chamberlin (D. Class of 1818, taught at the Moor’s Charity School, a Dartmouth’s school dedicated to the education of Native Americans; read law with Daniel Webster in 1820; became Professor of Latin and Greek in Dartmouth thereafter, until his death in 1830) in 1851.

[15] I was not able to verify who was Ebenezer Higgins. There was a George Higgins (1833-1880) member of the Class of 1956 (who left in 1954), but it is unlikely that the two were the same person.

[16] Throughout the 19th century Dartmouth students used to blow cheap tin horns in the middle of the night as a prank. The faculty, annoyed by this din, attempted to catch the culprits on numerous occasion, and the issue of tin horns became a serious friction point between the students and the faculty.

[17] Nathan Lord was the President of the College since 1828, and was a controversial figure (see OEstrus No. 3).

[18] Leander Collamore (1831-1858, D Class of 1856), became interested in the politics of the American West and personally involved in the admission of Kansas as a Free State. He became the editor of a paper and a lawyer in Lawrence, Kansas, a center of anti-slavery sentiment, and died there, probably from pneumonia.

[19] William Smith Leonard (1834-1902, D Class of 1856; MD, New Hampshire Medical College, 1860), was mocked in the OEstrus for being elected as the orator of the Class of 1856. He probably wrote and delivered the Note at the Burial of Math (see Remarks from the Burial of Calculus). Leonard also delivered the address at the graduation of the N.H. Medical College Class of 1887 more than 30 years later, so there was apparently some truth to this nickname.

[20] William Royal Joyslin (1833-1904, D Class of 1856), transferred as a Sophomore to Dartmouth from Harvard College, read law but was never admitted to the bar. Eventually he entered a Theological Seminary in Andover, MA, and became a pastor, moving around between numerous places, eventually settling on the west coast.

[21] This probably refers to Robert Samuel (1818-1899, D Class of 1856), who was a class monitor throughout his four years at Dartmouth. Samuel entered the Theological Seminary in Andover, MA, after graduation. Like Joslin, he became a pastor and lived in many different places. He was in Alexandria, VA, when Lincoln was assassinated and attended his funeral.

[22] John Leverett Thompson (1835-1888, D Class of 1856, left to Williams in 1854; LL D Harvard Law School 1856). Thompson spent several years studying in Europe, before he returned to the USA and started working in a law office in Chicago. During the Civil War he was commissioned as a 1st Lt.  in a New England cavalier battalion “K.” He was promoted to a captain and later a colonel, and served under General Phillip Sheridan. He became a brigadier general in 1865, but was released from duty soon after. Thompson keep working as a lawyer in Chicago until his death.

[23] John Alvin Putney (1833-1865, D Class of 1856), practiced law in Concord after he graduated. Moved to Tennessee in 1861 and worked for J. Knox Walker (who later became a general in the CSA Army), but left when the war broke out. He fled to Kentucky, where he assisted in raising the first regiment of Kentucky volunteers to the Union Army. Returned to Tenn. after the War, but died shortly after from an unidentified a ilness.

[24] Moses Brown (1835-1861, D Class of 1857), became a teacher after graduation.

[25] See OEstrus No. 1.

[26] Levi Little (1830-1883, D Class of 1854, AM), studied at the Theology Seminary in Andover, and became a pastor. He stayed in the region and moved around the North East.

[27] See Robert Samuel. This entry possibly makes fun of his age (he was 33 at graduation).

[28] See OEstrus No. 1.

[29] These are all sexual allusions. Francois Rabelais was a French writer during the Renaissance. He was famous for his satire and his boorish jokes.

[30] A reference to a student underground publication from April 1848 titled Old Grimes.

[31] Again, the writers of the OEstrusmock Oliver Hubbard by alluding to his presumable frugality and probably speculating about nonexistent carnal relations with his girl protégés.

[32] An allusion to both an impounded stock of tin horns and acts of adultery.

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